A Child's Laugh

This week I taught reading to the whole class and pretty much took control of the kids' full morning routine. My cooperating teacher and I get along great most of the time but this week she started to test me more and more.  Its one thing to do it, but another thing to do it in front of the kids.  If she makes me look like I don't know what I'm doing then by the time I take over the whole day the kids won't respect me.  I talked to my mom about it and she thinks it because Mrs. S. knows that I will be a great teacher.  So much so that she has to throw some curve balls in there just to make sure supposedly.

Anyway, I just wanted to share a small moment of my reading section with the kids on Thursday.  We read a story called "Jimmy's Boa Ate the Wash" and were talking about the cause and effects of the story.  The manual didn't explain it very well so I had to make up my own version off the top of my head.  I started out by saying that the effect is the end result and the cause is what made the effect happen.  I gave my students an example "Jonathon tripped over the chair," and asked them to give me ideas of what could have caused that to happen.  They said, "He was walking backwards and fell," and "He tripped over Bobbie's shoelaces and then tripped over the chair".  That gave us all a good laugh because Bobbie is the one that always has his shoes untied.  Then, I let them come up with their own effects.  One boy said, "Jumping out of a plane without a parachute."  Haha, okay...what the heck was this kid thinking?  "Alright, what could a cause be" I asked the kids.  Hands shot up in the air faster than I've ever seen.  I pointed to one little girl.  She responded with, "Because a giant falcon would carry you in his claws, duh Miss Garwood!"  I couldn't even discipline her for saying the word duh because I was laughing so hard with a mental picture of this little girl flying through the air with a giant falcon.  The class erupted with laughter and so did my cooperating teacher.  I couldn't breathe because I was laughing so hard.  Finally, a laughable moment for everyone where I proved to them that learning can be fun!  My second graders better watch out- a huge tidal wave full of fantastic fun and learning is coming their way!

To top that off, I got to go watch one of my students play soccer at an indoor soccer stadium this weekend with my cooperating teacher.  Its a stadium that I played in all throughout middle school.  When we got there, we ran into the student's mom who said that her son hadn't slept last night because he was so excited for us to come to his game :)  Even though he is only eight, he plays on a high level traveling team. I was surprised by his ball control and his shots on goal.  He is on his way to being a star athlete.  It was nice to get a chance to meet his mom and to learn more about their background.  I loved getting to watch soccer again and yell with the rest of the parents.  It brought back my love of this sport and made me realize how much I miss coaching/refing/ playing.  Soccer is truly a beautiful game.

Romance

Sunday, January 23, 2011

This is from a site that I get daily devotions from.  It seems perfect food for thought as I start a new journey in my life:

A Sacred Romance

In all of our hearts lies a longing for a Sacred Romance. It will not go away in spite of our efforts over the years to anesthetize or ignore its song, or attach it to a single person or endeavor. It is a Romance couched in mystery and set deeply within us. It cannot be categorized into propositional truths or fully known any more than studying the anatomy of a corpse would help us know the person who once inhabited it.

Philosophers call this Romance, this heart yearning set within us, the longing for transcendence; the desire to be part of something larger than ourselves, to be part of something out of the ordinary that is good. Transcendence is what we experience in a small but powerful way when our city's football team wins the big game against tremendous odds. The deepest part of our heart longs to be bound together in some heroic purpose with others of like mind and spirit.

Indeed, if we reflect back on the journey of our heart, the Romance has most often come to us in the form of two deep desires: the longing for adventure that requires something of us, and the desire for intimacy-to have someone truly know us for ourselves, while at the same time inviting us to know them in the naked and discovering way lovers come to know each other on the marriage bed. The emphasis is, perhaps, more on adventure for men and slightly more on intimacy for women. Yet, both desires are strong in us as men and women. In the words of friends, these two desires come together in us all as a longing to be in a relationship of heroic proportions.

(The Sacred Romance , 19

Food for Thought

Last Monday I had a very interesting conversation with my counselor.  We talked about many things like my depression and the first couple weeks of teaching.  Eventually we digressed with the discussion of my study abroad semester. Then she asked about how my heart was doing....

It came out of nowhere.  I explained to her that I had talked to my X the weekend before and alot came out.  After I worked so hard to  stay positive and to move on with the friendship, all he wanted to do was reflect on the past.  Eventually it came out that he had planned on proposing at Christmas and even had money for a ring.  I didn't ask for most of that information.  My counselor was shocked at this revelation and wanted to know why he said that after all of this time.  Honestly after working so hard to move on, it just brought up everything that I wanted to tuck away. That's something I will never forget as much as I want to.

My counselor Christina linked my past relationships with the way that my father treated me growing up.  He had always distanced himself and never let me in emotionally.  That's why I tend to take the lead in relationships. I'm terrified of being left behind.  That also explains why I had such impossible standards for my last couple of boyfriends.  I don't want them to end up like my dad.  This is something I had never thought of before and it scares me alot.

I've done alot of work on myself since the breakup.  I have fought to become a stronger person within myself and not let men dictate who I am now.  My counselor suggested that I write a list of the positive things going on in my life.  Every day I add to it.  She told me that for my whole college career that I've been going about love the wrong way.  It's not something that you can MAKE happen.  You have to let it fall into your lap.  That's pretty hard for me to do since I'm a control freak.  If I'm not happy with myself then I can never be able to fully commit my best to a relationship down the road.  Well, that road is a very very long one.

Most of October and November I spent tucking away all of my hurt.  When I faced it, life just seemed too hard to handle.  In December though, I knew I had to face it head on, otherwise I could never get over it.  Yes, I have my low points and high points.  As the days into weeks and weeks into months, I breathe easier.  I'm learning how to turn into the true Abby.  The Abby that I was back in high school when I was the happiest.  The one that didn't need a guy to make her happy.  The one that had the confidence to conquer whatever God decided to throw her way.  The Abby that was proud of what God had called her to be- the kid loving, hardcore faith believer, active runner, soccer enthusiast and mission trip goer.  All in all, alot healthier me. 

People say that college makes you into a better person.  Looking back though, college made me turn into a conformist and made me uncomfortable in my own skin.  This sorority girl that I turned into was one who made decisions the true Abby would be ashamed of.  Now, this semester will help me turn into the person God meant for me to be all along. No turning back.

Miss Garwood, do you think that a raisin looks more like a booger or bark from a tree?

Yep, thats right.  The post title was asked by one of my adorable 8 year olds on Friday afternoon.  The best part is that three of the kids and I got into a big arguement about the right answer for a solid fifteen minutes while the rest of the kids gathered their stuff for the bus :)

Week 2 was absolutely crazy.  Monday my cooperating teacher was gone so I taught the whole morning of reading and all the in between activities while the sub only taught math.  Tuesday we had DIEBELS (an Indiana state required test).  My teacher was out of the room all day testing kids.  I on the other hand taught reading all morning while the sub did absolutely nothing.  Finally later on she taught math.  Technically they have to hire subs when the teachers do this kind of testing, but honestly I felt like I did most of the teaching that day.  Wednesday we had a snow day!  Thank goodness for that.  Thursday and Friday the kids were very squirelly.  This week turned out to be so tiring that I fell asleep at 8 pm on Friday night!  That hasn't happened since middle school....

Hopefully next week will turn out to be great.  Monday I'm doing a big MLK lesson where we read a book about him and talk about his speech.  Afterwards the kids will create their own simplified version of his speech.  We'll see how it turns out.

Can you please tie my shoe Miss Garwood?

Last week was a whirlwind of learning all of my kids names, picking up on the daily routine, finding out standards and consistently fighting with the online gradebook.  I've pretty much picked up on everything so far.  My cooperating teacher will be gone on Monday so I get to take care of all of the morning routine including the huge reading lesson.  On Friday though I got to try out a science lesson with my kidlets.  They are so used to having math and reading shoved down their throats that they hardly ever have time for anything else.  The lesson went really well and the kids seemed to have a blast. My cooperating teacher liked it so much that she wants for me to do either a science or social studies lesson every Friday afternoon.

I wanted to share one of the highlights of my week though.  One of the little boys in my class, we will call him Bobbie, has a hard time paying attention in class.  His shoes come untied about every five minutes so Mrs. S. will always yell at him to retie them so he doesn't trip.  Bobbie hates it when she yells at him but can't do much about it.  On Wednesday,  he noticed that one of the laces came untied once again.  Before Mrs. S. could yell at him, Bobbie came over to me and said politely, "Can you please tie my shoe Miss Garwood?".  I said yes of course and taught him how to double knot them so he won't get yelled at again.  Little things like that totally make it worth it.

There is another child in my class, Laura, that also has a really hard time paying attention.  She also has an attitude problem which doesn't help.  Whenever the teacher takes the time to work with her one on one, Laura always just shoves the help aside and flies through the work.  We both know that if she slowed down then she could get all of the answers correct.  On Thursday, Mrs. S. reviewed regrouping with the whole class.  It was my job to walk around and to make sure all of the kidlets were on task.  Mrs. S. put four more sample problems on the board and told them all to work independently as we walked around the room.  As I strolled past Laura's desk, I saw her rapidly using her fingers to work through the problem.  Not only did she complete the problems faster than any other students, she also got them all right!  Laura saw me looking at her and gave me a small glare.  I went up to her and said, "Laura, awesome job on regrouping. You really know this stuff. High five!"  I hadn't seen her smile or be that happy all week.  Taking the time to point out what may be a small accomplishment to a teacher may actually be a huge accomplishment for such a student like Laura :)

It's little incidents like this that make teaching worth the sleepless nights.  Not to mention the random hugs throughout the day :)  Hopefully next week will be just as good.

BOOM

Today was the day I have been waiting for since I was born...the day I started student teaching.  Yes, honestly I can say I as a Garwood was born to teach, just like my father before me, all of his four sisters and his mother.  It goes back in our family on both sides for generations.  As I headed to school this morning, it brought back memories of carpooling with my Dad when I was in middle school and in high school.  Fun for sure :)

He talked quite a bit which says alot for my dad .  I on the other hand was sitting with hands clenched around the side of my seat.  To be honest, I was nervous.  Well more a combo of nervous, excited, anxious and so ready for this. All of this emotion quickly turned into a Crohn's episode as soon as I hit the front doors of the elementary school.  Made it into the school where I ran into my cooperating teacher, Mrs. S.  She introduced me to the aides and the other 2nd grade teachers along the way.  I barely mangaged to explain my illness to her and she kindly told me that she had digestive problems of her own. (Lucky me apparently)    After she reintroduced me to the kids I had three different episodes throughout the morning and landed in the nurses office.  But by eleven, I was alright again thank goodness.  My first day was an adventure for sure.

The last couple of weeks have been rough emotionally and physically.  Still not sure whether having X out of my life makes a difference.  No talking to him in a couple of weeks.  He said not talking for awhile would help, and then after that period of time I could decide if we could still be friends.  Apparently that was a joke.  Today when I wanted to share my important first day, I sent him a text, called him and even emailed to see if he would share this experience with me.  Nothing back whatsoever.  The last couple of weeks I've fought so hard not to have any contact with him.  The hardest part is knowing that even if I did in the future, it doesn't seem like he would contact me back.  I was doing okay for awhile and just knowing this latest development breaks my heart all over again.  Its like the relationship never happened.