BOOM

Today was the day I have been waiting for since I was born...the day I started student teaching.  Yes, honestly I can say I as a Garwood was born to teach, just like my father before me, all of his four sisters and his mother.  It goes back in our family on both sides for generations.  As I headed to school this morning, it brought back memories of carpooling with my Dad when I was in middle school and in high school.  Fun for sure :)

He talked quite a bit which says alot for my dad .  I on the other hand was sitting with hands clenched around the side of my seat.  To be honest, I was nervous.  Well more a combo of nervous, excited, anxious and so ready for this. All of this emotion quickly turned into a Crohn's episode as soon as I hit the front doors of the elementary school.  Made it into the school where I ran into my cooperating teacher, Mrs. S.  She introduced me to the aides and the other 2nd grade teachers along the way.  I barely mangaged to explain my illness to her and she kindly told me that she had digestive problems of her own. (Lucky me apparently)    After she reintroduced me to the kids I had three different episodes throughout the morning and landed in the nurses office.  But by eleven, I was alright again thank goodness.  My first day was an adventure for sure.

The last couple of weeks have been rough emotionally and physically.  Still not sure whether having X out of my life makes a difference.  No talking to him in a couple of weeks.  He said not talking for awhile would help, and then after that period of time I could decide if we could still be friends.  Apparently that was a joke.  Today when I wanted to share my important first day, I sent him a text, called him and even emailed to see if he would share this experience with me.  Nothing back whatsoever.  The last couple of weeks I've fought so hard not to have any contact with him.  The hardest part is knowing that even if I did in the future, it doesn't seem like he would contact me back.  I was doing okay for awhile and just knowing this latest development breaks my heart all over again.  Its like the relationship never happened.