Too Much

Things I've Learned the Past Week and Some Things That I Already Knew But Resurfaced:

1.  If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all.
2.  Sometimes kindergarteners seriously need a nap and then everything will be a ton better.
3.  No matter how rough today was, tomorrow is always a new day.
4.  Trusting in God's plan may be difficult. 
5.  Knowing that I need to trust in His plan makes each struggle worth the battle.
6.  Six year olds have more germs than eight year olds. Doing "air fives" instead of high fives will save a teacher from numerous colds and sore throats.
7.  Having a strong support system here and back home may be the only reason I survive my first year teaching.

Today was ultimately the hardest day I've ever had as a teacher. I can't get into details. I can tell you though that I reached my breaking point.  Yes, I'm here to teach.  Yes, I know why God put me at this school on this reservation.  No, I wasn't prepared for the incident that happened today.  Today really made me wonder why God specifically put me in this kindergarten position though.  I wasn't ready for kindergarten.  It takes a special gift to work with the kids at this age level.  My mom has it as does my friend Holly.  Alas, I've always known God did not give that gift to me.  I came to Red Cloud knowing that, but I wanted to be out here on the Rez badly enough that I just thought of it as a learning experience.  My heart yearns for the second graders again. 

I want kids in my classroom that can read, tie their shoes, and remember to raise their hand to talk.  I want kids that do not have "accidents".  That hasn't proven to be a part of God's plan though.  He has me with the germiest, youngest, most undisciplined, and squirreliest ones of the entire elementary school. Maybe this just goes to show that God has a deeper understanding of what we need....gosh,  He's done it again.